Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Another bump in the road, or, "more about my uterus"! - with update!

My doc finally emailed me back tonight after my ultrasound yesterday to say he wants me to take Estrace and Lupron for ten more days and then take provera (is that the right med?) to induce a period. His reasoning for this is that the estrace will continue to help my lining thicken up where the fibroid was "re-sected". Does this mean that the lining where the fibroid was removed is not thick? I am guessing so. But it would be nice if he TOLD me that. I need to get more assertive with him and let him know that I need to know more than WHAT to do next, I need to know WHY we are doing the next thing next.
He is out of town for ten days. I am hoping to go out of town in two weeks, for ten days. I wrote to him tonight saying that I really want to try to work around this because I REALLY NEED A VACATION!!!
We will see what he says about that. I want to have my crummy cake and eat it –I want to continue the trial cycle AND go on vacation. Who knows when and if we will add the progesterone? At this rate I won’t be ready to do the real cycle in August. I am so bummed. I am just swinging those moods right now – UP and DOWN! And capitals too!
One good thing is that work has become slightly more bearable at the moment. I am onto my fifth supervisor in 22 months. This most recent one seems affable, knowledgeable and human. Of course, he is only temporary until they find a permanent psychopath to run our agency.
It’s odd, I have incredible anxiety every morning without fail about going to work, and I ruminate and obsess and ruminate some more and then when I get there things usually are fine and if they are not I deal with them and by the end of the day I am usually feeling so much better. Today I got a lot accomplished and managed to avoid any big crises, so I feel great. We will see what tomorrow brings in the form of neuroses!
UPDATED June 11th to say:
PS - My doctor just e-mailed me back and said: "Vacations are important. I don't think it will interfere with your cycle - just come in the week before you go." ( He should know as he is on vacation right now improving his tan!!!) So I am ON for the vacation and ON for this extended trial cycle and needing positive vibes that my uterus heals!:) WOOHOO!


cindyhoo2 said...

In terms of the work thing... I feel you. I have added nightly stress dreams in addition to my daily real work stressors. Nice!

In terms of your uterus, (I loved the title today) yikes. Delay after delay get hard to handle. We donor egg gals have waited so long already so more delays bring up the inevitable feelings that this will never happen. Wanna hear something strange? I felt guilty when I read that you might need to delay. For some reason I think we will cycle really close together in time. I hope I am wrong since I am waiting for a few good eggs.

Word verification: phone.... hmm

Anonymous said...

Delays suck, don't they? I hope you're able to do the cycle and vacation. Thinking of you. {{{}}}

Anonymous said...

i hope you are able to schedule everything with your meds etc and still go on vacation. it is so necessary to get that mental health break in!

Best When Used By said...

It's great that your doc recognized your need for your vacation, and is willing to work your cycle around it. I know that must be a big relief. And I think it's normal to be going through all the UPs and DOWNs (all caps) - you've got hectic, stressful work (Wow, 5 sups in 2 years? That's a crazy turnover rate!), trying to get this cycle completed, taking hormones that ride your emotions like a rollercoaster and, well, just life! Hand in there. You're doing great and this will all come together soon!

Lisa said...

Sometimes I think medical professionals forget who they are talking to because they are so in their head. Following directives is one thing but understanding why you are following them is much better. Hopefully he'll catch on that no everyone speaks doctor, although with our ttc knowledge we are close!!! I"m thinking about you. Where are you going on vacation? Get outta here, pronto. Vacations while TTC are the sweetest indulgence and are so worth it.

Billy said...

Yay for being able to go on vacation AND not miss the next cycle!!!

Rachel said...

hope it all works out, everyone needs some time off now and then, so enjoy!
Blogger won't let me post under my Wordpress ID at work, I can't explain it. But I'm still over here at Single Mom Insanity, just in case you were wondering who the heck I am!

Anonymous said...

I once had a job like that where I had more supervisors than you could shake a stick at come and go over the years. It definitely helped me learn to put my job in perspective and to take each day as it comes. Your words about feeling anxiety at the start of the day and feeling fine after getting through the day sound so familiar to me.
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