Thursday, December 10, 2009

tails I lose...update at bottom:(

The odds were fifty fifty - like flipping a coin.
Except that it was a lot harder to do than that.
I took an Early Pregnancy Test tonight at 10pm after I had been putting it off all night and it was clearly BFN from almost the start of reading it.
S held my hand and we both squinted at it, but the second line did not appear.
I haven't been feeling anything different except for a small moment of gagginess yesterday morning.
I wasn't convinced but  I was hoping for a surprise.
So that's what happened to the perfect embryo and the happy uterus.
I have to go take the blood test tomorrow at 8.30 in the fricking freezing morning.
Then they will call me at work with my results.
Which I already know.
Ugh!

Update: The nurse called. The test was negative. I have a consult  next Thursday with my doctor to talk about a frozen embryo cycle in January. I am stopping my meds and waiting for AF and then will start the dreaded BCPs then.

39 comments:

cindyhoo2 said...

Dammit! I am so sorry that the hpt did not give you the right result. Such a crushing disappointment. I am wishful that tomorrow's beta brings a pleasant surprise. ((hugs))

glamcookie said...

I'm sorry. Here's hoping it's too early for POAS and you still get your BFP tomorrow. Everything crossed for you.

K said...

Crap.

I am so sorry. :-(

Keely said...

SHIT! I hope that the stick is wrong, but man, that really freakin' stinks!

Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

Oh no, I'm so sorry! I've told this story many times, but last fall I took a negative HPT and then later that same day had a beta that came back at 60. I'm praying it was too early/bad test. If not, I'm sorry :(.

Pufferfish said...

I'm going to hold out hope for the blood test. I can't imagine how disappointing it must be to see that BFN after all you've been through to get to this point. I'm so sorry.

tbean said...

NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO!!! I'm gutted for you. Gah. Hugs.

PS: Just in case you have any flicker of doubt, you made the right decision to transfer one. Definitely. So don't second guess it.

Clare said...

I hope the BFN was just a faulty pee stick and you get good results after your beta! Hugs.

insertmetaphor said...

Oh, my friend. My heart is hurting for you. I'm so incredibly sorry the coin landed this way.

Melissa said...

I'm going to hold out hope still too that the blood test says something different.

anofferingoflove said...

Nooooooooo! Aw, fuck. I don't even know what to say - "Sorry" just doesn't cut it. Thinking of you and hoping for a beta surprise. ((((())))

Illanare said...

I'm sorry. Hoping and wishing that it was a false negative and your beta HCG result tells a different, and happier, story.

Hugs.

Lisa said...

Not to be that annoying voice of optimism but I'm truly hoping the bloodwork says something different. Please keep us posted and in the meantime, take care of yourself. I know how shitty bfn's feel.

IVF 40+ said...

so sorry.
eb

CJ said...

It's not over until you BLEED!!!

MAJ Bryen said...

Man that sucks! I'm so sorry!!! My thoughts are with you and S

AplusB said...

I'm sorry :(

Billy said...

I am so sorry.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I'm sorry, sweetie. That's terrible news.

Carrie and MJ said...

Damn it! So sorry - there isn't much more to say.

Here's to both of us getting our BFP in January!

glamcookie said...

Saw your update. I'm so sorry. This is so unfair. Hoping hard that the next cycle is the one. Thinking of you both. {{{}}}

Best When Used By said...

I'm so sorry. There are not enough "whys" in the world after a BFN. My heart is with you and S tonight. If you'd like to entertain a silver lining - some say that frosties offer a better chance because if they are strong enough to survive a freeze and thaw, they are tough little babes!

pleasantlyfurious said...

I am so sorry. It's so unfair. I hate how unfair it is. I'm thinking of you.

I will begin sending you good energy for the January cycle.

Journey Girl said...

I'm so, so sorry, sweet - my thoughts are with you and I am sending many hugs to you through cyberspace.

Thinking of you....

cindyhoo2 said...

I came back for the update. Like you I am not surprised after the hpt but I am still so.incredibly.sorry. Words are not enough.

Pufferfish said...

Damn. I was wrong. I'm so sorry. I hope Feb. brings better news.

rachelbk said...

Damn, I am sorry. I hope January brings you a BFP.

Trinity said...

Oh, no... I just peeked back for the update... So deeply sorry! :( Sending a big warm hug your way....

Celia said...

Babe, I am so sorry.

talesphoenix said...

I'm so sorry. It shouldn't be this way.

J and DZ said...

I am so sorry... I know there isn't anything I can say to make this better. You're both in my thoughts and I'll be here cheering you on in January. FX for 2010.

Soapchick said...

Here from L&F. I'm so sorry about your BFN. My DE cycle in July also failed. It totally sucks and I'm sorry you are going through this. Best wishes on your FET

Chickenpig said...

I'm so sorry :( Best of luck for your FET in January. LFCA.

thegalwho said...

I'm so sorry. I hope you get your miracle sooner rather than later.

xxx

Mommy and Mamita said...

I'm so sorry. This just sucks. I'm glad at least you have the opportunity to do a frozen cycle.

Fran said...

Sweetie I am so sorry. Nothing matters now, you just need some time and your FET will happen really soon. Big hugs. Fran

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Bean stalk ballads said...

thats well and truly crapola. I am so sorry. Thoughts going out to you. Em

Mad Hatter said...

I'm so very sorry. Thinking of you.
Hugs,
Maddy