Yes, I finally got asked the million dollar question today. It came from a very nice, very intelligent engineer guy who has been master-minding the solution to the insidious basement seepage that had made our floors buckle and our wallets groan.
He's been over to our house the past three Saturdays for whole mornings, over-seeing the rodding of our sewers, cleaning of our catch basin and most recently spearheading the discovery of a crack in our foundation. Next Saturday he and the plumber will be here all day digging a big hole under our laundry closet down to the sewer to fix a broken pipe that caused the damp in our kitchen ( or we hope that it is the cause!)
I was talking about how we had a lot going on and were trying to get our house in order, and errrm, I am errm pregnant. He looked surprised but interested and said:
"Oh, wow, you're pregnant?"
Then without skipping a beat:
"So who's the father?"
Me: errm, we have a donor. An anonymous donor.
Him: oh, interesting
Me: well, you know, Susan has a low sperm count
Him: oh yeah, chuckle!
That was it - I walked away back into the kitchen and it was business as usual.
I kept playing the whole thing over in my head. How did that happen so fast? It seemed to go okay. I thought I was kind of funny. Wow, he didn't have any qualms about asking that question. He's seen us together the past three weeks - he must know we are a couple....hmmm.hmmm....weird!!!
Now for the question that's really going to be priceless:
How will I respond when it's one of my clients who asks?
You handled that question with flair!! I wonder how many times we will be asked that questions in our mothering lifetimes? Happy mothers' day indeed!
ReplyDeleteOh wow!! I bet the poor man mentally shot himself over and over for the idiotic question!! But I woudl have gone with the story of the gay friend, it's still my absolute favourite! Though your answer on Susan low sperm count was brilliant!
ReplyDeleteAnd for the client I'd say the same thing, donor sperm and science! Love, Fran
Wow, you managd to be funny in the face of being a little flustered - well done! I think just saying "Susan and I opted to go with an anonymous donor" is a good way to answer all questions in one sentence to any busybody clients. Of course, you could always tell them it's David Crosby and leave them wondering if he really is the donor of choice for all the ladies ;).
ReplyDeleteI'm prepared for this -- We'll say politely "Why do you need to know?" Of course it would be a lot easier to say to a complete stranger than a repair guy in your house! And we live in the Bible Belt so the words "sperm donor" might cause someone to have a seizure!
ReplyDeleteThen when you have the little one you will get the question..."Who's the mother?" The fun never ends :)
ReplyDeleteOkay, this probably wouldn't work with a client, but how about...
ReplyDelete"I don't know, I was pretty drunk that night. Just kidding!"
It would dumbfound them.
Well, maybe not.
LOVE the comment about Susan's sperm count. I'm filing that one away in case I ever have a pregnancy to explain again. :-)
ReplyDeleteI was nervous about fielding tricky questions from my clients but they never came. Not a one. I'm pretty sure most of my clients think I'm straight so I expected to at least get questions about how my husband was feeling/acting/etc. but I never got a single question about a partner. Some of my clients asked if it was my first baby and of course they all wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl (and then usually got irritated when I told them we weren't finding out), but those are the only personal questions I recall receiving. Hope your experience is as uneventful!
HA! That's a great response. Good on you for being so quick on your feet!
ReplyDeleteI had several clients ask me who the father was when I was pregnant w/Farty, because they know I'm not married. I usually said that I am not with the father, and didn't discuss it further.
ReplyDeleteSure, some of them were sad for me, and pitied the poor pregnant woman, abandoned by her piece of crap boyfriend, lol.
I love your low sperm count response, btw.
same response, I love it!
ReplyDeleteIt's a rude question to begin with, it deserves a wise ass response:)
When we were pregnant, we got that and responded we used a donor, when asked further questions, we responded it was private. This might seem like a cop out to some but we wanted to balance our story with our children's story. People who asked more questions usually respected that those who didn't and those were a minor number, needed more of a 'back off' answer which, I jokingly believe, we provided being very in tune with our Mama bear instinct :).
ReplyDeleteOnce they were born, we would usually respond they had two moms, when pushed on a father, we would again say they were being raised by to moms and those are their parents. It became more apparent when our kids were older that we have to be super intentional about how we discuss their/our family story to people. Does this make sense? Hope so.
love your response - well done!!
ReplyDeletenone of my clients ever asked - they assumed i was straight and just asked general questions about pregnancy or baby prep. i wouldn't have lied, but i never had to.
hat was a beautiful comeback!!!! I'm so laughing about Susan's low sperm count. That is amazingly awesome!
ReplyDeleteLove the sperm count response. That's awesome.
ReplyDeleteNicely handled! Loved S's low sperm count. lol.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how I'll respond when asked about the "father"..
Ha ha! Um, just tell your client you can't share personal information. It's against your job's policies!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you handled that just great!
ReplyDeleteGood for you!
happy happy second trimester Tireegal.
hugs,
Kate
Great job on answering. A few months ago I received an e-mail from a cousin I hadn't spoken to in 20 years saying - "Are you pregnant? By who? Why? How?" And that's it. Seriously. No hello, no congrats, no wow, we haven't talked in two decades - it was truly hilarious.
ReplyDeleteFunny - I love your quick answer: that Susan has a low sperm count. Why can't you use the same response about the donor for your clients? I mean, most adults realize there HAS to be sperm involved, eh? You didn't go around sitting on any tainted toilet seats, did you?
ReplyDelete