Blogoversarypaloozacalafragalisticexpealadocious!!

This is my sixty first post! And one year anniversary! I never thought I would make it a whole year.  When I started this I could not even contemplate what "in a year's time" might be. I had my eyes on the prize: IVF  January 2009. Let's face it - when I started blogging, I didn't really even know what blogging was. I knew other people who did it. Something in me wanted to join the club.

Here is my first ever blog entry. I may never have gotten much further than that except for my first ever commenter  An Offering of Love, who spurred me on. By the way, S. of the aforementioned blog gave birth to a beautiful baby girl at the beginning of November! Hop on over and congratulate her. I hope to follow in her footsteps! By the way, if you are listening, God (dess), I am totally open to gender!

So why did I call this blog happy-go-lucky? I would never typify myself as happy-go-lucky. More like anxiety-go-melancholy. I think that I generally present a fairly cheerful exterior to the world at large ( correct me if I am wrong IRL peeps!). But just below the surface is a pent up ball of worry - wartiness and gloom. I had just been to see the Mike Leigh film, whose name I borrowed for my blog, and it inspired me aim for the same sense of guileless cheer exhibited by  the the main character. She is a free spirit, open to a good time, largely unaffected by worldly worries or obsessions.  I was feeling hollow, lost, alone, and vulnerable ( yes, even while I was focusing on  IVF 2009)  and  felt pretty much like nothing was ever going to go right. So I started my blog on a whim; the name came to me in a split second; I put my virtual tile out into the ether and waited for inspiration.  Shortly afterwards I picked my signature picture which I wrote about here. 

When we have a child, my  hope is that she will have  a happy-go-lucky character,  and not  be burdened by stress and angst. We picked donors who had happy-go-lucky qualities. I am going to do my best to show our little one that there are other ways to be than with clenched teeth and adrenaline pump overload. Susan will be good at that when I fall by the wayside.  Of course, in the spirit of self direction and self determination, we will try to help her to be true to herself. Whatever that looks like. I am not going to turn being happy-go-lucky into a religion, or a pre-requisite for being loved.

So that, my friends, is the story of how happy-go-lucky was born. On a cold winters night in November 2008. And in just  over 3 short weeks we may know the date (if not the disposition) of our own little baby's birth.